Readjusting to campus changes

With the introduction of a new school year, there are often changes to the college. The student body generally expresses mixed feelings in regards to changes, and this year has proven to be no exception. However, as a student returning from abroad, I feel largely more affected by the changes this semester. I returned back to campus a few weeks ago and suddenly felt like a lost freshman again. I was in the mailroom with a friend who was also abroad last semester, and when asked her mailbox number, she had completely forgotten what it was. While this is a humorous anecdote, it does give some inclination as to the feeling of returning to campus after a long time spent outside the Muhlenberg bubble.

The first week back on campus, I was shocked by the new printing system, and had to receive many tutorials on how to print my articles for class. I’ve finally started to adjust to the Wepa system (and have also finally figured out the way to pronounce the name after multiple corrections from my peers), but I can’t say that adjusting back to life at Muhlenberg has been easy. I walked into Seegers and hardly recognized the place. I forgot where the to-go cups were in the dining hall. I walked into GQ and couldn’t find anything I was looking for, and I truly knew that I was a lost cause when someone came up to me in GQ and mistook me for a confused freshman. I reassured her that I was a senior, and just had forgotten a few things during my absence from Muhlenberg.

I suppose it speaks to a larger issue that I’ve been struggling with which is coping with the beginning of the end. As a senior, I was finding myself looking for the comforts that I’ve had at Muhlenberg since my freshman year. As scary as leaving for abroad was, returning was also scary in a lot of ways. I find myself a different person, while also trying to fit into the mold of myself at Muhlenberg. I’m caught between wanting to return to being a freshman and pausing time, to fast forwarding through senior year and getting ready to be completely independent.

In a lot of ways, I think freshman year and senior year are much more similar than I ever thought they would be. The fear, the exhaustion, and the anxiety surrounding the future are common denominators. However, I embark on this year learning to embrace the changes—the courts, Wepa, a renovated GQ, as well as relearning the things I seemed to have forgotten. Perhaps I am still that scared freshman somewhere on the inside, but I’m grateful for the life lessons that Muhlenberg showed me—teaching me to adapt to change despite how difficult it might be at times.

A semester apart from Muhlenberg also made me appreciate it in a different way. I know now that this bubble that I have lived in is not my whole world, and I am not necessarily afraid of what lies ahead. I also feel more adaptable—despite the strong reactions I may have had to some of the campus changes that occurred while I was gone.

Something I didn’t let myself do until recently was to allow myself to experience this sensation of feeling lost and unsure. The last six months taught me to breathe everything in, embrace new things, and to push past my comfort level. I am forever grateful for these lessons.